Calamity is not an honorific APPARENTLY

 

Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir

 

I went to the radiologist for a cortisone injection yesterday. I have a sore foot. T’was administered under the guidance of an ultrasound, though that is to the side of the point of this notation.

Upon arrival [at the radiologist], I was asked to fill out a fairly standard form. Name. Date Of Birth. Etcetera. Etcetera. I filled out the details I thought necessary, and underwent my procedure. Before leaving the rooms, however, I was summoned back to the front desk.

 

“You didn’t specify a title. We need a title.”

 

“Oh? Oh yes, no, I noted ‘N/A’ in that section . . . I didn’t think it was necessary to -”

 

[Silence overshadowed by a disapproving you-are-wasting-my-time glare.]

 

“I suppose I can’t really be ‘non-applicable’ can I, ha . . .

 

[Silence overshadowed by increasingly impatient glare.]

 

“Sorry, but I don’t suppose I can choose ‘Mister’ can I?”

 

“No.”

 

If I were a Sulphur Crested Cockatoo my crest would have fallen.

 

“Mzz?”

 

“Yes, thank you. Sorry.”

 

 

MR: I AM A MAN. (AS AN HONORIFIC MR DOES NOT DEFINE ME IN RELATION TO ANY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, MALE OR FEMALE.)

MRS:  I AM A WOMAN WHO IS LEGALLY MARRIED TO A MAN.

MISS: I AM A WOMAN WHO IS NOT LEGALLY MARRIED TO A MAN.

MS: I AM A WOMAN WHO IS NOT MARRIED TO A MAN. (YOU MAY NOW SPECULATE ABOUT WHY THIS IS SO.)

IS THERE NOT YET, IN THIS DAY AND AGE, AN HONORIFIC THAT DENOTES: ‘I AM A PERSON. SURELY THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.’?

 

 

 

 

I am not a Sulphur Crested Cockatoo.

7 Comments

Filed under Incidental

7 responses to “Calamity is not an honorific APPARENTLY

  1. IS THERE NOT YET, IN THIS DAY AND AGE, AN HONORIFIC THAT DENOTES: ‘I AM A PERSON.

    B.

  2. I talked with my girlfriend about this, and she mentioned that as a teacher’s assistant at a school where she works, all employees are referred to by the children as “mister so-in-so” or “miss so-in-so”, where they are designated by their first name. Even if a female employee is married, she is still called “miss”. The students only call them by their first name, which goes farther in not tying a woman’s identity to that of her significant other. However, there isn’t a neutral term for unspecified gender.

  3. Perhaps things are changing. I hope so! Certainly strict ‘Miss’/’Mrs’ distinction with surnames when I was in high-school.

  4. I knew a student from Cape Verde who lived near me in Russia, and she and her husband were having a baby, and she went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor asked her for her nationality and when she said Cape Verde he looked over the form and down his nose at her, and when she got the form at the end of the check-up he had written NATIONALITY: AFRIKANKA (Africaness)

  5. The tyranny of djorra (‘paper’)!

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